Sunday, July 18, 2010

Cohen Hall Presents: A Tragicomedy in Five Acts (with apologies to Samuel Beckett)

Act 1

Coco: Let's go.

Bella: We can't.

Coco: Why not?

Bella: We are waiting for Godot.

Coco: Ah!

Act 2

Next day.  Same time.  Same place.

Coco: You again!

Bella: Don't touch me.

Act 3

Coco: What'll we do, what'll we do!

Bella: Will you stop whining! I've had about my bellyful of your lamentations!

Act 4

Bella: Moron!

Coco: Vermin!

Bella: Abortion!

Coco: Morpion!

Bella: Sewer-rat!

Coco: Curate!

Bella: Cretin!

Coco: Critic! 

Act 5

Coco: Well? Shall we go?

Bella: Yes, let's go. 

They do not move.


Friday, July 9, 2010

Cat Dynamics

Since the introduction of the wonderful Coco Chanel Cohen-Hall to our lives, I've been a little......nervous. It's not necessarily anything that Coco does. She is an adorable bundle of joy and energy. (We'll see if that holds after her spay tomorrow -- eek!) She is personable and snuggable and delightful and just wonderful in every respect.

If only Bella shared our feelings.

Since bringing Coco home, Bella has gone from neurotic needy cat to Superbitch. Hissing constantly at Coco, being a worried noise machine, refusing to let anyone come near her, and generally being an unpleasant feline. Obviously, her world has been disrupted. Obviously, this will take time. But it's driving me crazy. If only I could talk to the animals, I would explain that Coco is here for her, to cure her loneliness. But of course she does not understand such elevated concepts and just spends her time being way too emo for her own good.

This offends my very Libraness. Conflict in my house? HORRORS! So I've tried to go out of my way to show Bella that she is still loved, that she is still #1 cat, to be a Feline Diplomat. It's not working. I don't understand cats. I don't know their ways. I don't think I can do anything except get pissed at Bella when one of her slaps is especially egregious.

Coco doesn't help matters, because she is constantly following Bella around. I feel for Bella, because moments of peace are few and far between, and if I had a smaller person nagging me constantly, I'd be angry as well. (This is why I'm not a parent!) It's an adjustment period, and Lauren tells me this integration is actually going quite well. I don't buy it. I want hugs and love and lollipops now. I want delights and Bella snuggling that kitten IMMEDIATELY or there will be Consequences, damnit! Alas.

Oh, kittentimes, you are complicated times.